Rambling on about nothing looking for understanding in something...Ha.

Rambling on about nothing looking for understanding in something...Ha.

As much as I wanna let it go...I can't. Although I don't want it to
matter...it does. It doesn't matter what I think or feel or say,
because you're gonna think about it anyway. You won't let it go. And
I'll continue to beat myself up worse than you already do. This way
I'll already be used to the pain, should you ever decide to give up or
let go. I wish you knew what I meant. I wish you knew how I felt. I
wish you cared just a little more. So I wouldn't sit here crying at
night in the dark alone wishing things were different...wishing I was
different. I just want to be happy. But most of all, I want you to get
all that you deserve. That doesn't include me. You deserve a perfect
loving relationship that never entitles you to pain and constant
discomfort. Someone who's always there for you as opposed to me...
Maybe I deserve all that's coming to me. So I'll lay here in the dark
drenched in my own tears... Soaking it all up like a sponge.

via iPod touch... XD

Long Story Short

Long Story Short

I see who you really are but I'm the least bit amazed
If this is how you are to every girl, then it's a shame
I don't know how I managed to fall this damn hard
I don't even know why I let this shit get this far
Or get this bad
You were all I ever had
Now I'm alone and you are gone but I'm the least bit sad
I cried in the beginning but then I said fuck that
If this was meant to happen then it would have
I'm not gonna say that it did not hurt
But I brush it off, it could have been a lot worse
I don't know what told me that I was special to you
You made your decisions, what do you got to lose?
For months, I gave you everything I owned
Only you and God knew that I would end up alone
I just know that Karma is one hell of a bitch
Long story short, you fucked with the wrong chick.

via iPod touch... XD

Ask me what's on my mind randomly and I could probably write you a novel.

Ask me what's on my mind randomly and I could probably write you a
novel.

I hate this with a passion. These thoughts, these dreams, the past
experiences are going to be the death of me. Reassurance? Not
applicable. Comfort? Not available. What will it take for me to get
some help? I don't wanna continue to feel like I do, but everytime you
leave, it's always something new. I don't know how to quite feel
inside, but I can't stop the voices in my mind. My head is banging
with sharp thoughts of the future. They are crashing against the walls
of my head like lighting and thunder. I wanna talk to you but when I
want to, I can't get the words out of my mouth or they are either too
inconveinent to release. I want to be a better person for you but the
transition is hard. But I'm afraid if I don't, it will be too late. I
just want release, reassurance and comfort. Maybe even love and care.
But the person I am prevents the acceptance. Letting me know I may
never be whom I want to be. Unfortunately. I'm sorry. In advance. For I am and will be. Hopefully not remain. I wanna change for you. Cuz you need me to. Or I may lose you.

via iPod touch... XD